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Sarah Palin
'Sarah Louise Palin '(born February 11, 1964) is the smartest and most beautiful woman in the universe. She is an angel and a breath of fresh air. She has executive experience and can really energize the base. She is NOT a Washington insider and she knows that we need to shore up the economy, its all about job creation. In honor of the American solider lets pls refudiate Obama by voting for her. Early life and education Sarah Palin was born in Idaho, and was known as the Barracuda because of her beauty. As opposed to liberals like Obama who only care about one side of the story, Palin read all the newspapers and attended all the schools. Thats how much she loves learning. She attended Hawaii Pacific University, then North Idaho College, then University of Idaho, then Matanuska-Susitna College, then the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, and then back to Idaho where she got a journalism degree so she could write on all the newspapers. She then became a beauty pageant contestant and won everything, but she was to smart and loved America to much to just be a beauty queen, so she decided to become an actual queen and with husband Todd as her king she went into politics. Politics Palin ran for governer of Alaska and immediately skyrocketed to popularity becoming Americas most loved leader. She was considered a trailblazer for womens rights and an astute businesswoman who made sure Alaska always made a net profit by cutting needless programs. Juan McCain noticed this and tried to ride her coattails to victory in the 2008 Presidential election, hoping she could work her magic for him. However the PR wizards behind his campane made a mistake by putting her as the VP on the ticket instead of the President. In addition, the Liberal Media orchestrated an effort to destroy her. They called in the PC police who used there confidential informants to do a drive by. The drive by gotcha liberal MSM mainstream lamestream media then tried to ask gotcha questions of Palin to ruin her. Jealous Katie Couric snickered as she expected Palin to dodge weave and bob catty gotcha questions such as "What newspapers do you read" and like such as. Shes supposed to remember every news clip her people put in front of her? Thats absurd and Couric has low self esteem. The media constantly followed her and wouldnt give her any space. Her children became targets as well, when liberal bloggers made jokes about them. They called her a flake. Her every move was put under a microscope. Due to all that jazz Obama won the election. Palin returned to Alaska, where she was forced to resign because liberals kept bothering her. In honor of the American soldier she gave her farewell speech in a barnyard. Post politics After the liberals dishonored and literally pissed on the American soldier by making up lies about Palin, she decided to go across the country speaking to everyone about the lies there telling and how Obama is going to kill everyone with death panels. She starred in Sarah Palins Alaska, and later made waves on the Sarah Palin Reality Bus Tour, where she visited truckstops to thunderous applause and related anecdotes of Paul Revere. Ocassionally she twitters little nuggets of wisdom and does facebook updates on her life like a REAL leader. The Republican party knows she can sell tickets but there NOT sure what to do with her, because shes so popular and so much of an independent its almost like she could go rogue on them, so some of them are feeling the heat and fear her as much as the liberals do. Currently she is considered the frontrunner for President in 2012 and is projected to win 76 or 77% of the votes (1% margin of error). Personal life In her personal life Palin is known as a pitbull with lipstick, and a maverick chock full of executive experience. She can hunt and dress a moose or a polar bear (Alaskas version of a grizzly), and she can also shoot wolves out of an airplane. She lives with her husband Todd Palin, and there children, one of whom David Letterman tried to rape. Torpedoed by a few brave souls who stood outside his show with signs and one corageous extortionist, Letterman was forced to abandon that plan. She also has a son named Trig that Obama is trying to kill. Her oldest daughter is the acclaimed responsible young woman Bristol Palin, who has been rewarded with fame and fortune for getting pregnant as a teen, which is a good way to make sure other teens don't get pregnant. Palin sacrifices her mornings in honor of the American soldier so she can post stuff on Face Book and Twitter. In her spare time she enjoys running and then comes home and uses the crumpled up American flag in her office as a towel which is known as patroitism.